Dream

pride

Dream…Even if it breaks your heart. …

This has been a crazy week. I am tired. I am sore and I hurt. I have felt every emotion this week. I can’t believe how sore and tired I am. I think I need a break. In ten days I get to go home and rest. Rest is so important during this process. I am having mild issues sleeping. Somehow every night I wake up at 4 and I end up watching a movie for an hour before going to work. Probably not the best use of my time but it is what it is.

I am not working out today. Taking one day off a week is important. It is important that you don’t burnout on exercise. I think I have burned out this week. I need a break. I need a complete break from working out and I am ok with that.

Last night I went out. I went out with one of my sorority sisters. I love her. She gave me the strength to go and have a drink and feel normal again. We went to a country bar and saw an amazing concert. I am very grateful to have sisters who will do anything in their power to make me feel comfortable.  I got dressed up, put my hair up, put on makeup and finally felt like a girl. She let me crash on her couch and we woke up and spent the day shopping. It was an amazing day and day I needed to recoup.

No matter what, at the end of the day, this is my dream. One of my dreams…and I have many…is to be healthy and fit. Once I am healthy and fit, I can go skydiving on the Gold Coast of Australia, Climb the Sydney Bridge, and feel comfortable wearing a bathing suit in Bora Bora. I can do whatever I want to and there will be no limits on what I can do.  This dream has caused a lot of tears. There are times that I feel incredibly lonely. I have to leave my workouts or meals because I am not like everyone else because I cannot stop the tears from coming and I refuse to cry in front of others.  But I know I am getting stronger and every day I become a little bit stronger.

My food Jounral for the Day is:

day3

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