Fading into the Background…….

RIP to the girl you used to see…..her days are over….

The other day, I was speaking with someone to whom I look up to tremendously. This person told
me something that really hit home in many areas of my life – that I need more confidence in what I
do. This person said I have the ability the confidence I lack is holding me back. It is keeping me from
getting ahead in life.

When I look at myself I don’t see anything special. I think because I still wear some of the same clothes
as before, I feel like I am the same person as before. I am working on that but it is slow process. My
parents have always shown me how to see the beauty in everything but I am still learning to find it in
myself.

For the longest time at Studio Vida! I worked out in the corner. I wanted to work out but I wanted to
blend in and not be seen. And if I am in the corner no one can see me or judge me. I could leave when I
wanted to and no one would know. I could be a wall flower. I am still more comfortable being that wall
flower but it is time to change. It is time to grow up and realize that I can’t be afraid of people judging
me. I am trying not to be afraid anymore. You would have thought (certainly not me) that I would get
up on stage in front of 500 people and dance with DA BOSS!! I am learning to have more confidence in
myself and that is helping me shine.

I still want to blend in…I don’t see what other people see in me. I still have clothes that I keep wearing
that are 2 or 3 sizes too big. It was really hard for me to get rid of some of my clothes and I am working
on getting rid of the rest. Once I get rid of all the clothes…I think I will see the new me.

I am working on who I am and how I represent myself and those important to me. I have to believe
that I am smart, beautiful, pretty …and most importantly that I am worth it. This is not journey or
process…this is the rest of my life and welcome to it……..

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2 thoughts on “Fading into the Background…….

  1. Alix De Montemayor December 20, 2012 at 4:21 am Reply

    My dear Asha, I’ve seen your changes not only physically but in your personality. You are way more open to people, to talk to anyone, socialize and laugh out loud. You look way more confident now than before, believe me… a lot! I remember you since the first day I walked into the studio and you were to me like a shell I couldn’t see inside of you, now you opened and we can see the precious pearl inside.
    Don’t worry about being judged by no one, be yourself and be spontaneous. You can be comfortable in your corner, but you rock on stage. We all are really proud of you, to have you as a model to follow, the changes you have done are awesome and yet more to come.
    If you join us in the next 4VIDA Dance Bootcamp I would love to have you around me so we can push together, sweat together and laugh, it will be awesome!!!
    Thanks for writing this blog, believe it or not I can identify myself with many of your stories.

    Love you Ashita!!!

  2. Samantha December 20, 2012 at 7:03 am Reply

    Omg girl I TOTALLY relate to wanting to blend in and not be seen in class. I was that way for a long time. What I realized is you can’t hold back your brilliance and all around awesomeness out of fear of what others may think.. You may not be totally body confident yet but you have so much to be proud of. You looked like you had not one care about anyone’s opinion when you were dancing on stage at the zumbathon. Loved that. STRUT YOUR STUFF girl because you have had the courage to share your journey to help yourself and others. That takes major cajones! So walk like a BOSS and let folks see how much of a bad ass mother f@cker you are! 😀

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