The best things in life are free….They cost no money to enjoy. They are the family and friends you have and the people you meet. We are put on this earth for a purpose. To make the world a better place. It does not matter how much money you have. Everyone can find a way to give back and help others. The people I have met on my journey have shaped who I am and good or bad….thank you.
People who have said things: you are not pretty enough, you are not good enough, you are not worth it, etc….are always going to be there. It is how you handle those people….determines your success. I am not perfect….it is the imperfections that make us perfect and beautiful and I have plenty of those. I have decided that I can’t fight anymore and I won’t fight anymore.
I am living my life. As long as I am doing better than I was doing yesterday, I am going to be ok.There are always going to be temptations. I had a cupcake and that is ok. I had a drink. That’s ok. Living and loving life is ok. I am going to get through things and be ok.
This week I start some things over. I will start working out on a schedule again. I will be working Monday through Friday and possibly Saturday and Sunday. I need to back into the habit. Travelling does mess with your workout plans but I have found ways of working out…..even if it’s just shopping or walking around the hotel for a couple of hours.
I had a lot of fun this weekend in Houston with some old friends and met some new ones. Thank God for my family and the friends that have become like family. I am lucky that my foundation that is super strong and unbreakable. I can’t believe how lucky I am….no I am not lucky I am blessed.
I had this fear that I was going to fail at this weight loss goal. But I have realized that my will to succeed is greater than my fear of failure. I am not giving into fears anymore. If I can’t do something…that is ok…but why be scared. Why be scared at something that I control? I control the intensity of the workout. I control how far I am willing to go and I control my own destiny. I control what I want. I control how I react to others.
Open notice to everyone: I am not putting up with any more nonsense. Don’t bring me any. I don’t want it. Keep your drama for your mama. I was really mad at the early part of this week but then I realized that I control how I react to it. I chose to cut that out of my life. Between school, work, working out, and everything else I do….I ain’t got time for that.
I went to Vegas for a friend’s wedding as was scared that I was not going to do that well…there is food everywhere in Vegas. I am proud to report that not only did I survived but I shined. Yes I had frozen yogurt for breakfast every morning (except when I went to Serendipty), but I met all my fiber and protein goals and had an amazing time. Congratulations friend!!
I hate running…I think I always will. I feel like I am too slow at it. But I am giving it one more try. I would rather give it one more try than say why didn’t I try again. I lived for so long with regrets…it is time for no more regrets…only positively moving forward and trying things that I was scared to try before.
Instead of taking what people do to me and getting upset…I am fighting back. I am using that anger in my work outs…using them to drive to be better instead of dragging me down. I get mad. Then I scream…I may cry but at the end of the day I have use everything I have and receive for my advantage….using this anger is helping me get results. I define my success…no one else (well my family) matters…we have worked too hard to quit now. If I have to do something else to get to my goals…so be it…but I am not quitting.
This has been an interesting work out week. I started the 30 day squat challenge. Between that bodupump, zumba, and cross training….this weight is going to come off. Even though the numbers on the scale are not moving…the inches are coming off. The inches are fat and I am getting more toned. This new body is going to take some getting used to and I need to figure out how to live in it. This body will always be under construction and I get to shape it how I want to.
Grocery shopping is my least favorite activity. Because I don’t know what I feel like eating and I hate meal planning. But meal planning is the only that I am going to get all my protein in. I am going to be purchasing a Nutribullet soon so I can easily juice my vegetables and fruit and add some protein in there. There are tons of good protein out there that can make the simplest drink healthy. I am in love with quest bars. They help keep me regular while providing me with 20g of protein.
I had a proud moment yesterday. When confronted with an adversary, instead of freaking out and getting upset, I handled with style and grace. I fought like a girl…I was able to walk away without crying…for the first time in a long…I am able to stand up for myself and walk away from those who don’t matter. In my life the people who matter are those who are going to help me make a difference.
I am so excited to see my mom tomorrow. I need her more than I thought and I am so excited to see her. After talking to some friends, I am grateful that mom believes in me more than she should. She understands me and makes sure that I am taken care of. Even when she was in India, I called her all the time and she was always there for me. I hope she understands how proud I am to be her daughter.
When you start to love your flaws and love yourself…people who you love will love you more. Your flaws or what you think you lack is who are and if people don’t like that…it might be time to say goodbye. I am learning how to understand that if I lack something in one area…I make up for in another area…and if I don’t…so what. I have my family and friends that support me beyond belief and I don’t have to apologize anymore for meeting someone’s criteria in life.
I have a new hate/love relationship with working out. I hate/love TRX cables. I have never felt that sore before. Trying new things is good for the body and the soul. I am thinking of building my own ballet bar and trying the barre effect exercises. I am starting to use my total gym and I love how working out time is now me time. It is time for me to think about and just get de-stressed. I love that I can work out my anger instead eat some of the feelings.
The scale is finally moving down again. 68 more pounds to go!!! I can’t believe that it is now within a reachable goal. How crazy is that in less than 10 months…I changed everything about me. I have changed what I do and I how feel…I take that back…I have not changed…I found me. I found who I was supposed to me and for the first time in a long time, I am able to dream and decide what I want to do. There is nothing standing in the way of anything I want to do.
Instead of letting others define how I feel or me…I am defining that. I am defining who I am and what I should be doing with my life. No one can take that away from me. There are things in the life that I am never going to be and that is okay. As long as I know that is okay…it does not matter what others think. Once you start letting go of people and who they are and what they are doing to you…the better off you are in the long run. I think that is why God allows people to come in and out of your life so quickly but those who are meant to stay will always be there